Friday, March 23, 2007

R2B2 fascinated by No Impact Man but too preoccupied with her colon to give up toilet paper

My birthday's still a few months away, and I decided it would be best not to wait for that colon cleansing kit I told you about. In the meantime, I'm doing a mini cleanse, that thing with the lemon juice and maple syrup and cayenne pepper.

It's DAY 1, I've been awake for 4 hours, and I'm FUCKING HUNGRY. Here's a list of foods I've already fantasized about: coffee, coconut buns, cornbread, coffee, lemon pound cake, peanut butter cookies, onion bagels, pancakes, red velvet cupcakes, granola, coffee, clam chowder, coffee, soy milk, turkey sandwich, fried rice, coffee. I'm pretty obsessive when it comes to food, but this is ridiculous. I don't even like turkey!! Ooh, but a turkey club?

Anyway, enough about my colon. In more important news, have you guys been following the story of No Impact Man. An NYC-based writer, his wife, and their child are planning to live a full year without making any environmental impact. That means buying nothing, other than food grown within 250 miles of the city, no public transportation, elevators, books, magazines, toilet paper! He's even baking his own bread from flour milled in New Jersey.

People have already criticized him, saying that he's doing it to just to write his book (which he admits to, and why not?). Or that taking such an extreme position on environmentalism turns people (morons) off. But, whatever. I'm all about personal experimentation (need I remind you about my colon project). More power to him! Check out his segment on yesterday's Brian Lehrer Show. He makes some interesting points about liberal politics and personal responsibility.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

that is weird, i commented on this and it's gone. i think my point was that it sucks that the guy is making his kid participate and i think the kid shold get caught tee-peeing a bunch of trees.

Anonymous said...

don't feel too bad, russ. the kid is still in eco-friendly diapers and probably won't notice the difference. i feel bad for his wife.

Russ said...

on the other hand, it must be kind of nice to be with a man who seems to think about how he wipes his ass at all, as opposed to ummifying his hand in half a roll of toilet paper for one half-assed (pun intended) wipe, hence STILL ending up with skid marks despite half a roll being used.

R2B2 said...

does ed need to come on here to defend himself?

Russ said...

there is no defense!!!