Stranger than Fiction

More snippets detailing nefarious activity in our fair borough of Breukelen, this time from The Brooklyn Paper. You can't make this shit up!

Fruit cup bust lands two health nuts
Call it the fruit brute brouhaha.

Two fiber-conscious twentysomethings were arrested on May 31 and accused of brutally beating two men who intervened when they stole a pair of fruit cups from a Lawrence Street grocery, police said.

The pair wandered into the store, near the corner of Willoughby Street, just before 2 pm. When they tried to pocket the pre-cut fructose — priced at $3 each — a 43-year-old man saw and alerted the owner.

The merchant stepped up and asked the men to replace the fruit. But the health nuts declined and pounced, with one man putting the owner in a chokehold and the other punching him in the gut. When the witness ran to help, the brutes turned their anger on him and punched him in the face.

Luckily, Police Officer Marc Grabowski came upon the scene and arrested the two thugs, ages 24 and 25, on robbery charges.

Bad Neighbor
There’s being a friendly neighbor, then there is being a thief.

Rarely do both conditions exist in the same person. But on June 2, a 59-year-old man who lives in a Duffield Street building was robbed by one of his fellow residents, police said.

The man arrived at his home, near the corner of Willoughby Street, shortly after 9 pm. His neighbor entered at the same time and followed him into his apartment. The returning man thought nothing of the visitor, since they were friendly from meeting in the building.

So the soon-to-be victim didn’t react when the visitor started riffling through his pockets — even though he was still wearing the pants. Actually, the resident thought it was a joke. The interloper didn’t use any violence or threats, but he did help himself to $105 and two house keys.

Police have the name and other details about the 56-year-old suspect and are now investigating.

Subway heist
Could a “hello” have saved her?

A woman was robbed of nearly $3,000 in jewels and electronics by a knife-wielding thug who claimed he only wanted to talk to her, police said.

The 27-year-old victim was attacked as she waited for a Manhattan-bound 2 train at the Hoyt Street station, near Fulton Street, around 9:30 pm on June 1. A man in his 20s came over and asked, “Can I talk to you?”

When she refused, the stranger pulled a knife and changed his tune, just grabbing her bag and jewelry and bolted.

This Robin Hood loves the smell of lavender
The sweet smell of lavender has inspired poetry, love songs, and now armed robbery.

That was the case when a man entered a sweet smelling Third Avenue fragrance store at around 10 am on May 29 and started talking about the fantastic scent.

The 31-year-old woman behind the counter told cops that the man then pulled up his shirt, flashed the handle of a gun, and helped himself to $600 in the register.

Before leaving the store, which is near 87th Street, he had one more message for the clerk: “I am only doing this to feed my kids,” he said.

Slash & branch
A teenage girl slashed another teenager and her 20-year-old boyfriend with a bottle and a tree branch in an early morning attack on Third Street on June 2.

Police reports are sketchy, but it appears that the 19-year-old went after the 18-year-old with a bottle and the boyfriend with a tree branch just after midnight in front of a building between Fifth and Sixth avenues.

A police search yielded no sign of the assailant, who left the teenager with “minor scratches” on her back and the 20-year-old with swelling on his forehead.

Tuned-out Thief
A robber used a radio antenna to threaten a man on Myrtle Avenue early on May 30, police said.

The 42-year-old was making his way home, to a block near Washington Park, after a party in the neighborhood. But during his walk, around 1:45 am, he noticed he was being followed.

When he turned around, he realized the stranger pursuing him had an automobile antenna as a weapon. “Be nice to a brother. Share what you’ve got,” the guy insisted. He then demanded the victim’s wallet.

But when the victim reached for his cellphone instead to dial 911, the robber became angry. The antenna man snatched the phone and fled.