I Just Barfed in the Chicken Soup

This morning I got a press release (in my world, aka SPAM) that read:

Every wine lover has a story to tell about the best glass of wine, when he or she found that special vintage bottle or how much fun it was that afternoon they all went wine tasting through Napa Valley, California and any of the other burgeoning wine producing regions of the United States. Some people have great stories to share about what happened as a result of that shared glass of wine...

Chicken Soup for the Soul is looking for the very best true, heat-warming, insightful and powerfully moving stories about how wine has affected your life. It could be about wine tasting, wine making, and its meaning and uses in all cultures.

The authors of the New York Times Bestselling book series, Chicken Soup for the Soul are currently seeking stories to include in Chicken Soup for the Wine Lovers Soul. If you have a story about relationships or events that include wine, Chicken Soup for the Wine Lovers Soul wants to hear from you.

HCI “The Life Issues Publisher” makes a pretty penny with its Chicken Soup franchise (and associated pet foods. No joke, click here). The books sell like freaking hotcakes. I always thought of their market as recovering drug addicts, Jesus freaks, and women deep in the throes of menopause (no joke, there’s a Chicken Soup for the Menopause Soul). You know, people who in the midst of crisis could benefit from twelve-step counseling and taking life one day at a time. Or people who live in Red States and like Nascar. (No joke, there’s a Chicken Soup for the Nascar Soul.) The kind of people who keep stuffed animals in their cars. And, there’s no pretty way to say this, people in middling to low income brackets.

But wine drinkers? Wine drinkers who search for that special vintage bottle? Wine drinkers that tool around Napa touring vineyards? So is Chicken Soup for the Soul going upscale or is wine connoisseurship going down? Maybe a little of both? Makes you wonder if Chicken Soup for the Sushi Eater’s Soul is just around the corner.

Anyway, scary stuff, the reach of the Chicken Soul Empire. But they do have a creepy knack for directing uplifting tales of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness to some of the strangest niche markets, like lady golfers, preteens, and more. Check out some of their offerings:

Chicken Soup for the Woman Golfer's Soul - Through these stories about the traditions and lessons women discover with each putt, drive, and hole in one, you or your favorite woman golfer will be inspired to join the ranks of the driving force that is contemporary women’s golf.

Chicken Soup for the Soul Healthy Living Series: Back Pain - This new book in the successful Healthy Living series--inspirational stories followed by positive, practical medical advice for caregivers and patients—addresses an issue that affects 85% of Americans at some point in their lives.

Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover's Soul II - This follow-up to the surprise hit, Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover's Soul, brings to the page the adoration we have for our horses with inspiring, funny and tender stories.

Chicken Soup for the Latter-day Saint Soul - A book of 101 original stories for the five million Latter-day Saints in the U.S. to use in church talks, lessons and meetings, as well as family prayer and scripture study.

Chicken Soup from the Soul of Hawaii - An Invitation to Paradise: Feel the magic and warmth of Hawaii.

Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul - These inspiring true stories pay tribute to those who have turned their lives around.

Here are thoughts for new editions I’m going to pitch to them. They're still missing out on some key groups.

Chicken Soup for the Asian American Soul (Seriously, they have them for Jews, Latinos, African Americans, and African American women. As per usual, the Yellow Man, just watching.)

Chicken Soup for the Midget Soul

Chicken Soup for the Ferret Lover’s Soul

Chicken Soup for the LGBT Soul

Chicken Soup for the Chicken Soup Lover’s Soul