Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Quite Possibly the Stupidest Thing I have Ever Read, Ever


Jay Leno is probably somewhere on a top ten list of people I have given the least thought to in my lifetime. But my mother forwarded me this e-mail today with the subject "You are going to love this." Oh, how well she knows me. This is ostensibly a word from Jay Leno on the state of the USA. I can't account for its veracity. However, if it is true and he really said this, he is not only unfunny and large-chinned, but quite possibly the biggest jackass on earth. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Jay Leno:

JAY LENO SPEAKS OUT
The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are so unhappy about?'' Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers
show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler
intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news > or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a 'dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way...Insane!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative. "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"


Jay Leno

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey,

Being picky, I googled 'Jay Leno' and came up with this:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/jayleno.asp

...it didn't sound like Jay Leno.

Apparently, it's some guy called Craig R. Smith who is a Jack arse.

Unknown said...

Just to note: I have no opinion about whether or not Jay Leno is also a Jackarse...

Russ said...

Interesting! I muist say, I did find those quotes at the end to be weird, but just assumed that poor grammar and punctuation were in line with the overall idiocy.

Given this new info, whoever the fuck Craig R. Smith is, he is now the biggest idiot. EVER. But the fact that I have no clue who he is - and neither does anyone else - takes the sting out of it, big time. Consider it now a mere trifle for amusement.

If I were Jay Leno (thank god, not...that chin), I would be suing this guy for making me look like such a damn fool.

The shit about the pledge is bullshit anyway. There were plagues and shit long before there was a pledge, and people were trying to remove god from the pledge prior to Katrina, tsunami, etc...so he's still an idiot...I will salvage a) some of my own dignity and b) the opinion that Leno is an idiot.

Unknown said...

Having 'god' in the pledge of allegiance doesn't seem to have done you all too much good anyhow... but what do I know? I'm an atheist and as all red blooded Americans know, you can't trust an atheist.

Have you seen this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=P8Aq00yJSxo

It reminds me of some of my relatives...

Anonymous said...

Lol fucking cry more