I helped my friend HJE's non-profit at Farm Aid and got a free ticket in return. Can you say freak scene? The demographic was: 2% farmer; 23% New Jersey redneck, many of whom were sporting concert t-shirts from years past; 20% hippie hipster, wearing horrible vegan footwear but dressed like hipsters from the ankles up; and, last but not least, 55% frat boy. (Black people: 2, Asian people: 2, including yours truly; Latinos: just watching. Oh, and two midgets on crutches!)
I've spent most of my life in the pursuit of avoiding frat boys (no team sports; attending lesbian dominated women's college; living in New York City) and to find myself surrounded by them for a full 10 hours was a major shock to the system. Though I did learn some fascinating things! Who would've thought they could be so complex?
1) When push comes to shove, frat boys will pay lots of money for beer. They all got totally wasted on $7 Heinekins, a far cry from the usual Bud Lite party ball.
2) Frat boys will pay $50 to attend an event all about peace and love and veggies but will not hesitate to fist fight while there. I know I live a sheltered existence, but I haven't seen someone throw a punch in a good ten years. Good thing they were so wasted that they practically missed each other.
3) Frat boys will shamelessly dance and sing along to painfully horrible acoustic slow jams about breakups and lost love. Especially while standing around in a circle passing a joint. Ain't that sweet?
4) Frat boys love flexing intellectual muscle. It's all about the problem solving!
>Frat boy 1: Dude, how much money do you think people spent on weed for this thing?
>Frat boy 2: Shit. There are thousands of people here!
>Frat boy 3: I bet there's a pound of weed here.
>Frat boy 1: Are you kidding? There's way more than that. We went through an ounce already.
Aah, the future leaders of America.
Overall the day was pretty fun. Organic corndogs fortified me against all the music that was making my ears bleed (am I the only person who thought Counting Crows broke up in 1998?). But it was totally worth it to hear Neil Young's gently proselytizing song intros, especially the rambling aside about the sinister disappearance of the blackbirds who used to live in his backyard.
2 comments:
Really enjoyed this! Reminds me of Russ's Six Flags Red-Neck Bingo Cards she made when she was 14! I still have one.
Show me the child and I'll show you the woman!!
Russ Senior.
I had a similar encounter with similar types at the Allman Brothers show after-party on Saturday night, at which there were no Allman Brothers as they were all on their way to NYC to play for R2. But their afterparty was overflowing with drunken frat boys and scantily clad groups of girls who would dance in and out of their little group. You could only enter or leave their group if you danced in or out. It was hilarious.
BTW, I made an updated version of White Trash Bingo when R2, Sparky, and I went to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. I think it is time for a new version. Consider the project underway.
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