Kid Nation

This fall, the geniuses at CBS bring the American people a terrific new concept in television viewing: Kid Nation - the first reality show with a cast comprised entirely of children. 40 children, to be exact, between the ages of 8 and 15, who will spend one month trying to survive life in an abandoned New Mexico mining town without adults (except for the director, crew, production assistants, craft services people, best boys, grips, medics, child psycholgists, and what have you lurking off-camera). Not shockinlgy, this show has already stirred up a good bit of media-generating controversy, with Lord of the Flies references abounding and people lamenting the irreparable harm that could be done to a child's psyche should said child have the humiliating awkwardness of his or her prepuscence broadcast for all the world to see. For me, this sounds like a total nightmare - I was utterly miserable from about 11-13 and remain unable to walk across a cafeteria floor unaccompanied to this day following the unfortunate slipping-on-a-squashed-french-fry incident of 1989. Whatever, most kids are made of tougher, less angst-ridden (read: Jewish and about to enter a prolonged flirtation with the Goth scene) stuff and I'm sure most of them will be fine. Some may even get laid!

So this morning the gentleman responsible for this brilliant example of modern program development was on Morning Edition to promote I mean explain the show and try to allay some of the fears of the "won't somebody please think of the children" crowd (somebody did - they thought about them enough to pack 40 of them off to Ponderosa for a month with a bunch of gaffers and teamsters who are supposed to act like they aren't there). So this chucklehead is all sincerity and sweetness and good intentions, shrugging of mentions of Piggy and his smashed glasses and talking about what a wonderful growing experience the show has been for the kids and how they have learned so much (good thing, since they missed a month of school). He then went on to get all emotional about how incredible it was to see these young kids get up early every day and fetch water, hand wash their clothes, grow and harvest their own food, scrape together their own meals, and take care of the younger kids.

The basic concept of this show is really not troubling to me at all. I am not a big fan of sticky little people and sullen/excitable tweens and really, I could care less if every child in America between 8 and 15 was packed off to an abandoned mining town in New Mexico. It would make going to the movies, restaurants - hell, just about everywhere - more pleasant. What pisses me off royally is this fucking moron marvelling at and having his cold black fake-assed heart warmed by the sight of a bunch of healthy, well-fed chilkdren with acual prospects for an auspicious future not ruined by the threat of childhood disease, famine, genocide, or war doing exactly what millions of children around the world have no choice but to do every day of their lives: to become adults at the age of 8. To walk miles for water. To care for their younger siblings. To never go to school. To work long, hard hours of grueling labor. To be forced to work in the sex industry or marry someone they have never even met. To get sick and not have any medicine. And never, ever to get to tell a camera crew how they feel about the whole expereince, and never, ever get to be awarded a gold star worth $20,000 like the kids of Kid Nation.